“If you hadn’t done something wrong, they
wouldn’t have bullied you.
Mom’s words crushed me.
“”
“Mom, if I died, would you be sad?”
“Of course not. I wouldn’t be sad for a
<
worthless piece of shit like you. You don’t
have the guts to die anyway!”
Her words killed me again.
I really wanted to ask.
“Mom, am I only not worthless when I’m
dead?”
Later, I cut my wrists, but Dad saved me.
When she found out I was in the hospital,
Mom scoffed.
“What a great performance! Another way to
avoid school.”
I was miserable. I begged Dad to let me drop
out of school. I couldn’t imagine going back; I
would be beaten even worse.
My smartwatch still had the bullies‘ taunts.
“Your mom doesn’t care about you. Come
serve us.”
“Or we’ll share your nudes with the whole
school.”
I hid under the covers, too scared to come
L
out.
But then my uncles hung me upside down.
Seeing them leave, I struggled to sit up, but
the pain made me sweat.
“Mom, I can’t move. I can’t see…please call a
nurse…
“”
Mom yelled impatiently.
“You just broke a few bones. You’re not
dying!”
“You’re useless at school, useless at home.
What good are you alive? Worthless!”
She dragged Dad and my uncles out,
slamming the door.
I lay helplessly on the floor, feeling numb.
“Fine, let me die in pain. If I’m dead, I’ll be
free…
99
Tommy carefully wiped my tears.
“Sister, don’t cry! Tommy’s here.”
I nodded slightly. Tommy was so good; I
didn’t want to scare him.
Three hours later, Tommy’s stomach
grumbled.
I couldn’t move, so I told him how to make
ramen.
“Call me when the water boils…‘
وو
He was too short to reach the kettle. He
climbed on a chair, and the kettle tipped over,
spilling boiling water on his face.
Tommy screamed and fell off the chair.
“Tommy!”
He was rolling on the floor in pain.
“Sister, it hurts! Help me…”
وو
“Tommy, go to the bathroom and rinse it with
cold water!”
I struggled to crawl to him. The broken bones
in my chest felt like knives with every breath.
Tommy stumbled into the bathroom. He
turned on the tap and lay on the floor, but he
was still crying.
I crawled less than five meters before the
pain overwhelmed me.
Poor Tommy was still crying.
I grabbed my phone, called Mom, and found I
was blocked. I’d called her so many times
when I was being bullied, she’d finally had
enough.
I called Dad, but he didn’t answer.
I called 911.
As paramedics arrived, my parents came
home.
Seeing Tommy burned, Mom dragged my
head against the wall.
“You can’t even look after your brother! Why
don’t you just die?!”
I coughed up blood again.
Tommy was taken away by the paramedics,
calling for me. My heart ached.
I remembered when Tommy followed me
around, and I said,
“Sister will always protect you!”
But I failed him.
Tommy, I’m so sorry.
When I woke up, I was in a hospital bed.
The doctor had bandaged my chest wound
and my eyes. I could hear Mom’s voice.
“She’s the one who hurt Tommy! She’s faking
weakness!”
The doctor looked annoyed.
“She has fractured ribs and lung damage. Her
eyes are injured. She’s a patient herself; how
can she care for someone else?”
Mom glared at him, annoyed at his
interference.
Tommy cried when they changed his
bandages. Mom pointed at me.
“Remember, your sister hurt you!”
I was miserable. Though I couldn’t see
Tommy, I imagined his confused and helpless
eyes. I curled up, biting my hand to stop
myself from crying.
<
I silently cursed myself.
If only I’d gotten up. If only I’d endured the
pain a little longer, made Tommy’s ramen…he
wouldn’t have been hurt.
It’s my fault. All my fault.
Maybe I am worthless…
When the doctor said my injuries were worse
than Tommy’s, Mom finally lost it.
“She hurt her brother, and now she’s playing
the victim!”
