fragile glimpse of reconciliation, yet pride and confusion hold me frozen in place.
“Siena–1 begin quietly, tone strained, desperate to explain. Yet she quickly turns away, stepping gracefully toward her waiting packmates, shoulders straight and proud despite the subtle tremble in her hands:
Lila pulls back slightly, oblivious or uncaring toward my obvious discomfort. Her lovely face glows triumphantly. “You broke the course record!” she exclaims delightedly, her eyes sparkling possessively up at me.
I nod curtly. “We.” I correct tersely, firmly pulling away from her grasp. “Siena guided me perfectly.”
Lila’s smile tightens slightly, eyes narrowing briefly at the mention of Siena, but she quickly smooths her expression back into practiced sweetness. “Of course, she murmurs softly, though her displeasure remains clear.
Ignoring her, I glance again toward Siena, heart twisting painfully as she accepts quiet congratulations from her warriors, her graceful composure firmly back in place. Yet I see clearly the subtle stiffness in her posture, the careful blankness now shadowing her beautiful eyes.
Did you feel it too?
My wolf growls furiously, raging at my own foolishness, my inability–or unwillingness–to finally choose clearly between pride and the possibility of reconciliation.
1 clench my fists tightly, frustration and longing tangling painfully inside me.
“Shut up, Horace–I cannot! We cannot!” I growl inside, hoping to end this farce sooner rather than later.
“We should celebrate, Lila coos softly, her slender fingers brushing possessively against my arm again, instantly reigniting irritation. “Everyone saw how incredible you were.
–
I shake my head sharply, my temper flaring dangerously. “This wasn’t about me,” I snap harshly, startling her into silence. It was about trust and teamwork–qualities Siena clearly excels at
Lila recoils visibly, hurt and anger flickering briefly across her lovely features before being swiftly masked. She nods stiffly. stepping back slightly, clearly displeased yet unwilling to contradict me openly.
Without another word, I stride quickly away from her, needing space, needing solitude.
Frustration churns relentlessly inside me–at Lila, at myself, at the tangled mess I’ve created, I am no fool. I know there is no turning back.
Horace is right. He is right to mourn her loss and my sheer stupidity and arrogance.
But still, the whines, the howls, the incessant pacing, they mean nothing.
This cannot be undone. This farce must be seen through to the end. The mask must stay securely fastened, and I must learn to accept the things I cannot change.
Pausing abruptly near the edge of the training grounds, chest heaving painfully, I close my eyes, struggling to regain control of my turbulent emotions. Yet all I see clearly is Siena–the vulnerability in her eyes, the tenderness of her touch, the quiet sincerity in her whispered promise I won’t let you fall.”
she meant that
My heart aches bercely, longing and regret mingling sharply inside me.
16:23 Mon, 21 Apr Nw
Chapter 41
Why must pride and fear always sabotage any fragile glimpse of reconciliation between us?
Why can’t I finally admit openly what my wolf has always known–that Siena is, and always has been, the mate my heart. truly desires?
I swallow hard, pride crumbling painfully beneath the weight of realization.
Horace growls insistently, “Raiden, you must do something to reverse this! You can’t let the luna go! Do something, you
coward!
“I am no coward! I am the alpha King! She is the one who has ruined us. She is the one who betrayed us.”
“You have been ignorant, full of ego–she held you up today, and still, you do not trust her?”
“I will never trust her as long as I live,” I snarl back, silencing the wolf–for now, anyway.
Yet doubts linger stubbornly, uncertainties still clouding my judgment.
But standing here alone, haunted by Siena’s wounded gaze, I finally understand–until I choose definitively, I’ll forever remain trapped between pride and longing, unable to truly claim the happiness my heart aches desperately to have.
Trapped between two worlds.
But haven’t you already made the choice?
Yes, I silently admit the bitter truth–I’ve no one but myself to blame.
Raiden, Great Alpha King-
Destroyer of all things good.
