Chapter 144
ALESSANDRO’S POV
I failed.
I fucking failed.
There is always a first time for everything; failure has never been a part of my life. I have never uttered the words ‘I have failed” before today. I’m a fucking perfectionist. I like to plan my life, my day, and my future; he was never supposed to be a part of this a big fucking part.
I was officially fucked.
I promised myself. I fucking promised myself that I won’t ever make a man my weakness. I won’t follow in my father’s footsteps. I won’t let anyone control me with a pussy or ass but I failed myself.
My mind can’t form coherent thoughts when he is near me. I think about him first before doing anything. I now have to think long and hard about him before making a decision even if it is about my business. Thousands of thoughts race through my mind how will this affect him? Will it hurt him? Will I be putting him in danger of any kind?
– At this point, he can just cut off my dick and wear it around his neck to symbolize how much power he has over me.
He has me in a fucking chokehold.
Gentle?!
Was I fucking gentle?!
I have never cared much about sex. It was a physical need, a release two people scratching each other’s itch but sex with him fucking blew my
mind.
I also never really cared much about the women I did it with, they could be skinny, curvy, tall, short, blonde, brunette, dark, or pale. I never had a preference until him.
Now all I want is dark brown hair, brown eyes, porcelain skin, and swollen, succulent pink lips.
I was so fucking gone that I went over and picked up when he called me, asking me why I cancelled the date and told Antonio to drive him
back home.
I did the unthinkable.
I fucking apologized and told him that I have work to do immediately.
I didnt want to hurt him. I didn’t even think about my pleasure or release. It was the first time I, Alessandro, cared more about the person I was doing it with.
I never really thought I’d care about someone the way I do for him.
I reclined back in my seat; I couldn’t focus on work.
All I could think about was him writhing with pleasure underneath me, those soft noises he made, the curve of his back, his nails scratching on my skin, and that fucking dick. I ran a hand down my face and groaned.
“Fuck this,” I muttered under my breath.
I shoved the laptop screen closed with a snap and pushed back from the desk. The room was dim, lit only by the soft glow of a table lamp, and
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still it felt too bright, too loud, like the walls were pressing in.
The papers I was supposed to review lay untouched. My phone screen kept lighting up with meaningless updates. And through it all, he was still there, in my head, in my bloodstream, in every damn breath I took.
I groaned and threw the stack of sheets onto the table, the rustling paper sounding louder than it should in the stillness of the room. I didn’t care. I couldn’t pretend anymore. Not tonight
I wasn’t going to get anything done, not w
all I could see was the hurt in his eyes.
I ran both hands through my hair, dragging my nors over my scalp like it might shake the thoughts loose. It didn’t.
He was still there.
Every fucking detail of him. I needed him not Leah.
I grabbed my phone and scrolled down to the only name I could think to call.
Antonio.
The line clicked almost immediately.
“Boss?”
“Come pick me up,” I said, voice low and rough. “Drive me home.”
A beat of silence. Then, “Right away.”
Thung up before he could say anything else.
Home. To be with him.
I sat back down for a moment, elbows on my knees, and stared at the floor.
The ache in my chest hadn’t dulled. And no amount of distance or silence was going to fix it.
The car ride was silent.
Even Antonio didn’t speak not that I would’ve answered him if he did. When we finally pulled up outside, I didn’t wait for Antonio to open the door. I stepped out and climbed the stairs two at a time, my fingers twitching with urgency as I keyed in the code. The lock clicked, and I pushed the door open.
Dark.
Quiet.
I stepped in, my pulse thudding in my ears..
“Nikolai?” I called softly.
No answer.
I dropped my coat over the back of the couch and moved toward the bedroom, the hallway suddenly feeling longer than usual.
The bedroom door was cracked open. I pushed it gently.
Chapter 144
And there he was. Curled up on one side of the bed, back to the door, the comforter pulled high up to his shoulders. His breathing was soft.
even.
Sleeping.
My throat tightened.
as
I stood there for a long moment, frozen. Then finally, I stepped inside, closed the door quietly behind me. I slipped out of my shoes and pulled
I slid beneath the covers, careful not to touch off my shirt, moving slowly so I didn’t wake him. The bed dipped slightly under my weight him just yet.
But I failed and ended up pulling him to me.
I slipped my arm around his waist and pulled him more to me, slowly, carefully, until his back was pressed to my chest, my forehead resting lightly against the nape of his neck.
He didn’t push me away.
He shifted just a little in his sleep, a sigh escaping him as he settled against
me like he’d been waiting for it all along.
I closed my eyes and exhaled slowly, the scent of him surrounding me, grounding–me more than any cigarette or drink ever had.
