Chapter 6
I thought I only have to comfort Lucas when he’s having a hard time dealing with his father’s demand but after confessing about the real score between him and his dance; he seems to need not just comfom but advice too.
But why me?
It’s a question that didn’t occur to me before and yet I’m desperate to find an answer now. While mulling over it, I realized Lucas is quite dense don’t know if he’s pretending to be one, or he’s simply ignoring me, but honestly, he’s too much.
“So, what’s the problem with it?” I try not to sound rude, but his expression tells me I was. “I mean she likes you. Isn’t it a good thing? For a political marriage, it’s fortunate enough if your partner has feelings for you. Maybe it could work between the two of you someday.”
Did Ljust wish them to be together?
My foolishness has reached the mythical level. I thought I’m only a master and later considered being a grandmaster, but the moron cells have already corrupted my entire system. I’m a fool, the foolish among
“You think so!” Lucas looks at me like I’m a weird specimen while sounding suspicious.
“Yes. Why not? If you don’t want to consider divorce after marriage, then it’s best to develop feelings for her. Besides, your parents want you to have an heir, right? She’ll be more than happy to serve as your wife if you show sincerity towards her.”
I should have stopped talking after giving him one piece of advice, but my mouth won’t quit blabbering and even say more.
Phew! Sighing is all I can do other than talking, anyway. In this situation, running away is an option I don’t want to consider
“Everyone wishes for a happy married life. And despite the number of people hoping for the better, only a few could attain it. She.. I mean your fiance might have known that you might not like her at first and hopes that you will as time goes by. To find the answer, why don’t you cooperate and give her a chance? Spend time with her,
Lucas keeps silent and just stares at me. Does he find my words surprising? Well, I’m surprised. I used to give him advice while trying to omit “love” “relationship‘, and ‘future family, because I’m afraid he’ll heed any words and actually do it. But…
Things have changed. Time flies so fast that I couldn’t even believe I loved him for six years already. Every day. I relayed my feelings towards him with utmost sincerity. And yet, being with him sounds like a dream trapped in dreamland. It can never be true
So I’m thinking, giving up right at this moment would be the best course of action. Right, I know better than anyone how painful it is to let go, but aside from myself is there anyone else to help me?
None. The answer is simple: If I don’t do it, nothing’s going to improve. I will only keep hurting if I continue this false belief.
Lucu Celeste will never be mine
“Alright. I guess I’ve said what I can today. Il be taking my leave then. You know, it’s still my day off and I have an important thing to do.” My hand moves on its own to my neck, subconsciously caressing the soft fabric of my marle–heck shin. Tm sorry, but I don’t think I can go with you. You just got engaged last night, As I’ve said earlier, spend time with your fiance. She’ll be your rife soon!
I said it as a joke, although my words prick through my bones, Lucas. Really, he’s the only man who can make me do stupid things, despite bow painful it could be
“Oh. Do you have plans? I hope you’ll be coming with me though,” is what he replied. He said it like he’s certain I’d change my mind when he put it
way. Hul!
that
Is he for real? If only I could yell at his face, punch, and kick him until I’m satisfied. He’s not at fault. Whatever his reason for taking me for granted is because of my past actions. Loving him is my ticket to despair. Thanks to him showing me the right path while in the middle. All 1 have to do now is drop the said ticket and board a different train. Perhaps it’s better to retum to the starting line. After all, life isn’t a race. It’s about taking time while savoring each moment. Taking a break is an excellent choice 100,
“Ah. I’m saying this not as your secretary or as a friend but as a woman who admires you” I stare at him lovingly–like how I would secretly take glances at him while he’s busy working. “Lucas. As of today, I’ll start unloving you.”
A deafening silence dominates the room. Fr, what am I even expecting? Maybe his flustered expression? I honestly hope he’ll show some expression after hearing what I said. Anyway, the most important thing is that.. I DID IT!
Way to go. Daphnet Free yourself from one–sided love and live well instead!
Now that he’s aware of my feelings and I’m letting it go for the sake of our employer–employee relationship and friendship, there’s no reason for The to hide the bitterness of being dumped. I can probably cry when I feel like it even if he’s watching, right? Who says no one can mourn over their broken heart?
You’re going to what? Lucas‘ question echoes in my head. Suddenly, his voice sounds so annoying that I don’t want to listen to him at the
moment. “Daph, what are you saying?”
I force a smile on my lips. My mouth feels so dry that it’s hard to say another word, but I want to say something to clear things up. “I love you, Lucas. For six years, until now.”
His expression softens a little, but his fists remain tightly clenched. “Why are you suddenly saying this now?” Lucas holds my shoulder, shaking me. “Do you know what it means spouting nonsense in front of me. Daphine?”
There. He calls me by my name with indifference, wearing a dark expression on his face. What’s next Will he loath me for loving him? I thought I made it obvious though, so obvious that I didn’t mind looking desperate.
“Relax, Lucas” I gently grab his hands and shove them away. “You mustn’t be listening earlier, but I said that.. I’ll start unloving you. I’ll work hard until the day I can finally say ‘I loved you” A laugh escapes my mouth. I can’t help laughing at myself in this situation. All this time, I thought drinking will give me courage to confess my feelings to him, but it only takes a quick realization about how foolish I am. Then everything follows like it’s what I’m supposed to do after the realization.
“Hah! You just said you love me and right after, you claimed to be moving on. How ridiculous!”
Is it because of his pride! His ego? He knows he couldn’t reciprocate my feelings after the confession, but he hates it when I said I’ll try my best to forget! “Lucas, you don’t love me, do you?”
He looks surprised this time. “You’re out of your mind, he said.
“Yeah. Call me crazy or whatever. But I’m telling you, I have already decided not to love you anymore. It may sound silly but I don’t want to invest my whole life with you while you’re signing a permanent contract with another.” I tilt my head to the side and rub my neck. “I know. This is ridiculous. I just don’t want to keep hiding it. Also, I’m hoping that your marriage works out. Consider it a wish from a friend.”
“You know I have no feelings of that sort for you, right?” Lucas is holding in his anger. He’s obviously not happy knowing that one of his trusted friends sees him as a man. Wait, he wouldn’t stop being my friend, would hel
“That I know it very well” 1 bow my head in embarrassment I’ve imagined confessing to him before in various scenarios, but what’s happening right now isn’t one of those ‘best scenes I’ve considered.
“That’s why I’m giving it up now. You don’t and will peyer love me, right? I raise my head and look him straight in the eyes. “The vacation you offered to me earlier, is it still available? I would like to take some time off work.
I finished all pending work in the office yesterday. If there’s more work to come, which is possible, Ed can do it. Lucas trusts him more in every aspect. While I’m dealing with things in the office, Ed can handle everything, be it work–related or not. I’m the CEO’s secretary but Ed is like my superior who’s lesser than the Boss. It’s because of him that Lucas offered me a vacation, too. Well, he won’t send me away if he has no one to rely on right!
“A vacation, huh? Yes. Take it I don’t know how I can work with you after revealing your little secret. It’s better than getting kicked out, yeah! Just so you know, I don’t feel nice after what you’ve confessed, Dapline. You should have kept it to yourself instead. Saying that. Lucas leaves the room in a hurry.
I didn’t bother turning to see his back. No, I would rather not even see his shadow, I expected he’ll turn me down but telling me to keep it to myself hurts like thousands of needles piercing through my skin. My whole body aches while my heart rots. But it will be over soon.
One day, I will surely be able to say I’m done. And when that day comes, I’ll wear the brightest smile I could ever muster.
“Knock Knock
My eyebrows met when I heard someone knocking on the door. It couldn’t be Lucas coming back to say something worse, no? He wouldn’t have to knock if it’s him. I wonder who it is A cleaner, perhapst
“Ms. Ambers, I’m glad you’re still here.”
“Sir Wellington? What brought you here? I thought you left with the Vice President” I can’t hide my confusion at seeing the blond man in front of the door.
Is Jared still here! He said he has somewhere to be
Sir Wellington smiles at ane while handing a small package. “Mr. President— I mean, the Gold’s VP wanted to give you this”
“Why?” I didn’t want to assume things but after taking a closer observation on Jared’s work etiquette, he’s not the type to give gifts to his acquaintance unless he meant to give this to me, his girlfriend.
“Ahem. He told me to give it to his girlfriend as it may come in handy.”
“Oh, thanks”
The blood man smiles again and takes his leave. “In case you don’t know how to use it, there’s a note he left inside the package. Have a good day.
2/3
