Chapter Nineteen
+25 BONUS
-Elara’s POV
I couldn’t shake the quilt that had planted itself in my chest since the night with the rogue. Damien had leapt in front of me, his wolf ripping into the beast without a moment’s hesitation, and all I’d done was follow Julian out
I’d convinced myself it was the right move–keeping Damien at a distance, not letting him believe I still cared.
But I couldn’t shake the image of his bloody matted fur, his gray eyes staring into mine as he struggled to save me. It dined on me, a silent pang that I couldn’t repress no matter what I did
–
I’d spent that evening holed up in my room, pacing the frayed wooden floor, trying to understand what it all meant. The hostel was typically filled with chatter and laughter, but tonight, it was too quiet too still. Then, a muffled shout pierced the silence, and the sound of hurried footsteps echoed up the stairwell. My stomach twisted. Something was wrong I found a sweater dashed out of my room, my bare feet padding the cold floor, and went downstairs
The scene that met me took my breath away “Move it as I saw Sabrina with Damian. Her head lay on his chest, her face pale and marred with blood, her shawl slipping down one shoulder. It struck me like a punch in the stomach. All the tentative warmth I’d begun to feel for him the flash of gratitude, the softening of old wounds evaporated in a snap I caught my breath, and I felt a familiar sting behind my eyes.
Of course. Of course, it was Sabrina.
I froze, gaping; the memories of my former life rushing back. The smug look on Sabrina’s face when she accused me of poisoning my child. She wrapped her arms over Damien while he betrayed me in the knottiest way.
–
The fact that she’d been so willing to stand by and let him condemn me to death. Seeing her here now, curled so comfortably in his arms, made me feel dumb dumb for thinking, for even a second, that maybe things would be different this time. That he might’ve changed. That we could’ve had some opportunity to ease the friction between us
My chest constricted, and my jaw clenched to keep the tears from spilling over.
He must have heard me standing there because his head lifted, grey eyes meeting mine across the dim room. For a fraction of a second, guilt passed before his eyes, just a little and unblinking, like he’d been caught in an act he shouldn’t. It only made me angrier Why should he feel guilty? He owed me nothing. I owed him nothing. We meant nothing to each other now
or at least that’s what I kept telling myself
Take her in,” I said, my voices
slicing through the crisp night air. It sounded gharper than I’d meant, shot through with bitterness I couldn’t conceal. I didn’t care. Let him hear it. Tell him that I was not fazed by this by them
–
a
He didn’t move right away. He stood frozen in place, staring at me, Sabrina still lifeless in his arms. The silence lingered, thick and sufling, until he finally said. “Elara, don’t misunderstand. I only tried to help-”
Before he could finish, I cut him off, the words tumbling out in a rush. “It’s none of my business, Damien,” I don’t know why you’re even telling me this I sounded cold and dismissive, but my heart was racing inside. Why would he need to explain himself? What did he think I was interested in anymore?
His face changed, some inscrutable emotion flitting over his features. “Oh,” he said gently, as if to himself. “Yes I am nothing to you “His voice was softer, coloured with a strange combination of resignation and hurt that I wasn’t anticipating. Before I could assimilate this, he turned and walked away with Sabrina in his arms to her dorm room.
I watched him walk away and into the door, his wide frame consumed by the shadows. Confusion gnawed at me.
What did he mean by that? Why did he sound so deflated?
Istrould’ve walked away then I should have retreate Waited for the ache in my chest to fade. But I didn’t Instead, I drifted dangerously close, my feet operating on their own I to my room, locked the door, and buried myself under the covers.
#25 BONUS
side of the building where I wasn’t visible and peeked through a crack in the curtains of Sabrina’s room
slipped to the s
I don’t know why I did it
curiosity, perhaps, or some perverse need to validate what I already knew. Whatever it was, I
instantly regretted the urge to look.
Damien kneeled beside her bed, his hands delicate as he tucked in the blanket around her. Sabrina’s eyes suddenly opened, and she said something I couldn’t catch. He swept a strand of hair from her face, his touch was so careful, so tender it turned my stomach. Jealously cut through me, followed by a wave of sadness so profound it almost stole the breath from my lungs.
1 hated that I felt this way. I hated the fact that after all that, after all the pain he’d put me through, there was still some part of me that hurt at the sight of him with her
My hands balled into fists beside me, nails pressing into my palms as I watched I said to myself that it did not matter. It meant he could do anything he wanted with her. He’d done it before betrayed me most unforgivably with her so why should this be a surprise? But the more time I spent just standing there, the less easy it was to convince myself that I didn’t
care.
My heart was filled with frustration and despair, and I hated myself for it
Then it happened. Damien sat up, getting ready to rise, when Sabrina grabbed him, her fingers snaking around his forearm. She tugged him closer, angling her face toward his, and their lips were millimetres apart breath caught, the way the surprise widened his eyes.
close enough to see the way her
Tume stood still, and I only heard the beating of my pulse in my ears. They were going to kiss. There it was, right there in front of me, some cruel echo of the past
I don’t know why I did that. Maybe it was the jealousy bubbling up, or the anger I’d repressed for so many years finally escaping Perhaps it was the part of me that still couldn’t leave him behind, no matter how desperately I tried.
I could not help myself, whatever it was. My voice exploded from me, ragged and quaking, splintering the stillness of night. “What are you doing?”
