“I’m telling you, study until you drop, and
don’t make excuses! All this bullying, this
depression–bullshit! I don’t believe a word of
it!”
My parents and uncles were busy eating and
drinking; they ignored me.
My five–year–old brother, Tommy, snuck over.
He slipped a candy into my hand and touched
my face.
“Sis, are you hurt?”
“Let me blow on it…” He blew on my face,
trying to make me feel better.
“Tommy. leave your sister alone! She’s a
く
piece of shit!”
Mom’s yell sent Tommy scurrying away.
From the time I was little, “worthless” has
been my shadow.
My mom was a loving mother in public, but a
cold–hearted demon at home.
When my classmates bullied me, she didn’t
help; she made me apologize to them.
When I tried to kill myself, she said I was
faking it.
When I took time off school, she said I was a
bad influence on Tommy.
My parents urged me to go back to school. I
refused.
The principal and my teachers urged me to
go back. I refused.
Now, Mom had brought in my three uncles,
who called me dramatic and decided to teach
me a lesson.
Everyone was pressuring me, but no one
^
asked why I tried to kill myself, why I ended
up this way. The bullies had broken two of my
ribs, and they still hurt. Hanging upside down
made my chest ache even more.
I wasn’t afraid of death; I just didn’t want to
die this way. Just let me die quickly, okay?
Suddenly, my vision went black. I couldn’t see
anything.
Suffocation washed over me.
Fear hit me. I wasn’t afraid of death itself, but
of the thought that when it finally came, I’d
never truly lived my own life.
“It’s been ten hours, isn’t that enough?”
My dad looked worried; my face was pale.
“No way! This is just the beginning! Don’t be
soft, brother–in–law!”
My uncles were arguing when Grandpa called.
“What? Grandma fell from the third floor?”
“We’re on our way!”
Grandma had an accident, and they rushed
<
out.
“Take Riley down. She can look after Tommy.
We’ll deal with her later!”
Mom ordered, and Dad quickly untied me.
“Riley, take care of Tommy’s dinner, bath,
and bedtime. You hear me?”
It took a while for me to breathe normally
again.
“Can…can one of you stay? I can’t see…”
Mom’s face darkened.
“You’re such a drama queen! You can’t see?
Why don’t you just say you’re dying?”
She kicked me hard twice. My ribs, which
weren’t fully healed, cracked again. I coughed
up blood.
My dad’s face went white with worry.
“She’s coughing up blood! We…we should
take her to the hospital!”
Mom pushed him away, glaring at me.
“Are you trying to frame me for abuse? To
<
ruin my reputation?”
“Don’t think you can get away with faking it!
Stay here, don’t go anywhere!
“Clean up that blood; it’s disgusting!”
She stormed into the room to pack her bag.
Tommy offered me his water bottle.
“Sister, drink.”
Dad sighed.
“Your mother is just…strict. But it’s all for
your own good.”
“We asked your uncles to help you. You
should appreciate our efforts.”
So that’s what Dad thought.
In the room, Mom and Dad started arguing
again.
“She’s lying about not wanting to go to
school! She even pretended to go blind!”
“Tell her that even if she dies, I’ll burn her
homework and make sure she has to study
even in the afterlife!”
L
Two months ago, the bullies locked me in the
bathroom, stripped me naked, and took
pictures. When I cried to Mom, she just rolled
her eyes.
“Why don’t they bully someone else? Why
you?”
“You’re worthless. You’d be better off dead.”
When she found out that the bullies were the
principal’s daughter and the daughter of her
client, she immediately brought gifts and
made me apologize to each of them.
“They bullied me; why should I apologize?”
Mom slapped me.
“Just take it. If you can’t take it, take it
anyway.
