Chapter 24
EMMA
A hand drops on my shoulder and my body goes along with the turn without for
“Em
force when I’m pulled back.
what are you. Goddess, Emma. Are you crying“” Ryan’s voice rises a notch and I shake my head, the tears falling even harder.
“What happened? Why are you” his voice trails off as his eyes move over my shoulder and I know he has seen what I’ve seen or at least caught a glimpse cause he goes quiet and looks back at me with worried eyes.
He yanks me closer with one hand staying on my shoulder and the other pressing to my face. Im so sorry, beautiful. Is it hard?”
I open my mouth to speak, but what comes out is a sob and without another word, Ryan pulls me into his arms, the hand on my face sliding to hold my head to his chest. Needing his embrace more than I need my next breath, I wrap my hands around his back and tighten my hold on him. holding on for dear life as broken cries leave my mouth.
“Shhhh, shh, sweetheart. You’re okay. You’re alright. I’m right here”
My heartbreaks all over again. I can’t believe I have been so concerned about him and this is what I get.
“You’ll be okay. You’ll be fine. You’re strong.
I want to tell him I’m not I’ve never
er been. I’ve managed to stay okay and I’ve had some happy moments these past few weeks, but now I’ve come crashing down again and there’s that thought in my head–for death to take me because it’s getting hard to breathe again
“Hold on to me. I’m here.” Ryan whispers near my ear, his hand stroking my hair and I do as he says–clinging onto him without shame as 1 break
down in his armis,
We remain in the position as minutes dick by and Ryan gives me the time I need not interrupting and merely providing comfort by caressing my hair with gentle strokes on my lower back.
Tve soaked his shirt with my tears and when I pull away to see the wide wet parch near his shoulder, I sniff. “I’m sorry, I ruined your shirt.”
He looks at the spot before he throws me a gentle smile. “This is nothing. It’s okay. Do you feel better!”
“My head hurts,” I tell him and he nods, his hands gliding back to my shoulders. “That’s all”
I rub my chest. “Here too
you want to stay longer?” He offers, referring to another embrace, and I shake my head as I hold his gaze. “No. Can I–I don’t think I can focus on training today: Can I have the day off?”
“Of course, beautiful” He says and my lips curl in an unwilling smile, Ryan removes his left hand from my shoulder to swipe his thumb across my checks. As he dabs his finger against my skin. I watch his face, unable to help but appreciate the kindness he’s always showing me.
Ac soon as I have that thought, my stepmom’s words come to mind, about how will pinen me and I frown, wondering if it’s the same with Ryan.
Is he only being nice because he pities me? The girl who’s shunned by the rest of the world with barely anyone by her side? Did he feel a responsibility he didn’t need to!
I stir from his touch and Ryan’s gaze raises. He has a confused look in his eyes as his hand drops. “I’m sorry. Did that make you-
“Don’t pity me. I state, and his brow raises. “What”
“I don’t need your pity.” Irritation coats my words and Ryan removes his other hand from my shoulder. “And why’d you think I pity you?”
“There’s no other reason for you to be so nice.”
“None! Not even that I like you!”
“Why!” I mumble with a small tremble of my head. “Why’d you do that? Why’d you like me?” Your Alpha docin’t.
“Because you’re an amazing person. Emma.” I don’t believe him because I know I’m not. But Ryan continues. “Because you’re strong. Because I’m intrigued by you. Because you’re selfless and charming in more ways than you realize. Because you’re one of the prettiest girls I’ve ever come across–both in and out” His words shouldn’t shake me. I’m none of those things. I’m always reminded of how selfish I am and I’m too fragile- both body, mind, and heart.
I shouldn’t listen to him, but he looks at me with so much sincerity in his eyes and I can’t pretend to not hear how honest his voice sounds when he uys, “Because I’m your friend I chose to be. Not for pity. It was a choice—one I don’t regret.”
I bite down on my tongue to keep my sobs back. “Tim pathetic.”
4:56 PM
Chapter 21
Ryan shakes his head and closes the distance between us again
his hands coming up to hold my face. “You’re not. Not once have you been.”
“Thank you. For being so kind to me.” I tell him and he smiles. “Thank you for letting me.” His hands drop to my neck and he frowns. “You’re running hot. Go take a rest.”
I nod and turn from his hold. I look back to the spot where they had just been before walking away after another glance at Ryan
My room feels even smaller than when I left it and without bothering to change out of my training fit, I move into bed and slide under my covers, trying to hide from the wraths of the world.
My breath is hot against my skin as it slows and I curl into a ball, hiding my hands between my thighs as I try not to dwell on the self–harm that lingers on my mind.
Instead, I let sleep take me.
My eyes open and I let out an exhale as 1 shift under my covers before pushing myself up. I yank the blanket down before sliding against my pillow and my eyes go to the window. It’s bright outside, the light from the day shining against my window and giving a soft glow to the darkness in the
ΠΟΙΗΤΙ
How long has it been? A day? Two? Threet
1 don’t know. I’ve been mostly in and out. Just getting up to wash before falling back into bed and letting sleep keep me away from the rest of the world.
No one else has been here other than Ryan and that’s because he doesn’t leuve, refusing to stop banging on my door until I open up for him. Ryan brings me food each day, and he told me my dad left that same day. Nevertheless, I’ve kept the door closed to everyone else–not needing or wanting more than one interaction a day.
–
I’ve kept myself secluded for a while and one would think I’d have gotten better, but I haven’t. I can feel is a large hole in my chest that refuses to leave no matter how hard I try
I’m like this, yet I can’t stop thinking about him; about his face and how I haven’t seen him once since the last time in his office. I shouldn’t want to either, but I do, which only drives me more crazy. How much does it have to hurt before my heart gets that he isn’t a person I should long for? Can it possibly get worse than this!
There’s a knock at my door and my thoughts are interrupted when it comes again, accompanied by a voice. “Emma! Emma, I know you’re in there and you can hear us. Please, can you just open up? This isn’t fair. You’re pushing me away and it isn’t fair.” It’s Bianca’s voice and I pull my bottom lip between my teeth to not speak.
“Emma” li’s Elijah’s now. “We just want to know you’re alright. It’s been four days and you haven’t been out of your room. Please, Please, just let us in We’re your friends, aren’t we? Whatever it is that’s happened to you, you don’t have to go through it alone. It’s why we’re here: to share your troubles and your sadness. So please just please”
My eyes go to the door and I stare at it for long minutes before getting off my bed, I don’t care to stop by my mimor to check my face before crossing the room to the door. I grab the knob and there’s silence at their end as I slowly turn it
The second it opens, Bianca throws herself in and wraps her arms around me. “Thank Goddess, Emma. You had me scared.”
“Hi,” I utter as I hold a hand to her arm and she pulls back from the hug. The scolding look I see in her eyes disappears when her gaze meets mine and her opened mouth shuts. She stares at me with shock written across her face- though the can’t recognize who stands before her.
“Emma! Fuck. What–how did you. I don’t” Elijah stammers through his words and I let out a light chuckle. “Lknow I look terrible. You don’t have to look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”
I step past them to shut the door before walking back to my bed. Elijah and Bianca exchange–glances before they walk up to me. Bianca settles next to me, her hands sliding over my shoulders, while Elijah crouches in front of me with one hand on my knee
“Hey,” his voice is soft and small. “Talk to us”
“Is it because of your dad?” Blanca adds carefully and I tym to her. She looks apologetic as she continues, “He was here a few days ago we saw him
“Yeah.” I breathe and she squeezes my shoulders. “We should have tried harder. We’re such terrible friends”
“No. I wouldn’t l
1 let you in”
“I wanted to knock down your door, but the Beta wouldn’t let inc,” Elijah says and I smile. “That’d have gotten me angry”
“At least I’d have seen your face. I’d have been worth it.” He counters and my smile grows. “You see my face now”
“Yeah, and you look terrible. You’ve not been eating, have you? Just look how skinny you’ve gotten!” Elijah scowls as he grabs my right hand.
2/3
4.57 PM
Chapter 21
“You’re overreacting. It’s only been a few days”
“Four and I’m serious. You don’t look good.”
“I don’t feel at either, I mutter as I drop my hand. There’s a brief moment of silence before Rianca’s voice breaks through as she slides closer to me. “This can’t be happening. We have to get you out of here.”
My head snaps to her. “What? No. I don’t have the energy.”
“That’s because you locked yourself in here for days. Of course, you don’t have energy and that’s why you must leave. If it’s the pack house weighing you down, then we shall take the pack house away. You’ll go out and you’ll have fun. I start to shake my head, but Bianca isn’t backing down. “Remember the last time? You’d have even more fun, and you’d shove your middle fingers at your problems. Whatever is weighing you down so much they can go fuck themselves because I won’t let you continue to drown in your sadness. No, baby. It’s time to make a bad bitch out of you.”
I don’t want to, but I know if I remain here, my thoughts would continue to eat at me. And what she said about fucking themselves just for a while. for just one night, I don’t want to have him on my mind.
“Emma“” Elijah clutches my knee and I look down at him before I look at Blancs. They have eager looks on and I smile at my friends before I say. “Fine. Let’s do it
Bianca throws herself on me, her hand going around my neck as we fall to the bed and the sound of my laugh echoes through my room
I’ll do it. I’ll go out and have fun and 111 forget that one unfortunate kiss that keeps playing in my mind–once and for all
E
